Dancing isn’t the only passion Goldie passed along to [...]]]> I have been doing a lot of thinking recently on joy. I saw Goldie Hawn’s daughter, Kate Hudson, on the Oprah Show last year and could not get something she said out of my head. It became part of my New Year goals to find out more.

Dancing isn’t the only passion Goldie passed along to her daughter. Kate says her mother also taught her to live joyfully. “That’s a big word in our family. My mom dedicates her life to understanding what that is,” she says. “To understand your happiness or what makes you happy in your life is something that we grew up around.”

Every time I see Goldie Hawn or her daughter, Kate Hudson, they have a smile on their faces. What a great thing to pass on to your child. Joy.

“When Kate Hudson was asked about her relationship with Alex Rodriguez, she was hush but stated that she was happy and full of joy….with a smile on her face.”

You know what? I believe she really is. You can practically feel it radiate from both Kate and her mom.

I was missing this from my life. I came to realize that I was the unhappiest, happy person that I knew. That is hard to wrap your head around. And I think it is even harder to explain. Imagine a really happy person trapped in a dark place. A place with a dark cloud. A place where it just makes you sad. It caused me to make some changes in my life or more accurately inside myself. I wanted to have joy in my life.

The most important lesson that I learned is that joy does not come externally. It is internal.

Life is not a perfect. Things will happen. Bad things happen, but it is how we view these that determine our joy level. We can give all of our attention and focus to the bad, and joy will slowly just get up and walk right out of the room. Or you can choose to acknowledge a situation, but perhaps look at it from a different point of view, essentially create a different story.  There is always more than one side to a story or one perspective.  In your mind, stand up and walk around the situation.  Seeing it in a different light can sometimes make all the difference.  When we put all of our focus on a the bad things and get wrapped up in them, then we are not seeing the good, we are not walking in peace, joy or love. It is all negative energy.  And it’s a cycle, a bad cycle. Think about it. Have you ever walked into a room all happy and in a great mood and encountered a really big grump? You can instantly feel it. Chances are that you can only take so much of that before you are grumpy, too, at least with that person. Whatever you are will attract more of the same. People will respond to you accordingly. And on and on it goes. Now, why is it that the grumpy people tend to influence the joyful people more, I have no idea. Maybe it depends on how well you have mastered making your joy an internal thing versus an external thing. Something to think about.

So how do we get that? By practicing joy.

Yep. When you are learning something new, you have to practice it. It is the same with joy. I’m not a joy expert like Goldie Hawn or her daughter,  Kate Hudson.  They have had years to practice being joyful, but I am more joyful than I was a month ago.  But I did find having a system in place, a joy plan, I made way more progress than just wanting to be more joyful.  Wanting it was a start, and it gave me the motivation to find out more and make a plan.  I do these regularly.  Some of these I do every day, sometimes twice a day.  I’ve always heard it said that you it takes 21 days to make something a habit.  That is why doing things here and there are not nearly as helpful.  It’s the daily doing of something that makes it a new habit, a new way of thinking.

5 Steps to a Joy Filled Life

1. Start with a gratitude journal. Write in your journal every day. Choose one to three things that you are grateful for, things that bring you joy. They don’t have to be big things. I had wanted to start a gratitude journal for years. And probably did many times, but I doubt it got farther than that…just having the journal. I thought I needed major things to write down every day and was overwhelmed at the sheer pressure of it all. If today, you are happy for straws because you can drink without messing up your lipstick too badly, then be thankful for that. If you are thankful for cappuccinos this particular day at this particular moment, then be thankful for those. There are so many little things that we take for granted. Joy begins with appreciating the little things, too.

2. Surround yourself with things that bring you joy and peace. I love art. I love photographs. I love warm colors. I love music. I love candles. I love warm lighting. I love books. Surround yourself with things that move you. This is a great habit for two reasons. It feels really good, plus it helps you to know what doesn’t mean so much to you. Find out what is important and simplify your life. It makes decluttering a lot easier.

3.  Have a vision. For the same reason that exercise number two is good, so is this one. It is simply taking #2 to the next level. What moves you and inspires you for your life, not just your home. Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years, your ideal life? It can be a place or even a lifestyle or the type of person you want to be. Think about it in detail and write it all out and then create a vision board. Look through a magazine and find images that move you. Tear those out and use them. Like exercise #2, it will not only help us know what we want, it will help us know what to eliminate.

4. Stop, think, and refocus. When you feel a situation stealing your joy, you and only you have the power to turn that around, but you must have a battle plan, so here it is: Stop, think, and refocus. Joy will always come from within, but you have to do things differently, though, if you want change. So the first step is to stop what you are doing. You must catch yourself and stop yourself from doing what you have always done. The next step is to think. Think to yourself, “Am I going to let this steal my joy?” That’s right…you have the power. At this point you are at a crossroad, and you are consciously present in the moment of choice. This is a good place. This is a place where change can happen. Make good choices. And lastly, refocus. Is there any good at all that you can see in this situation. Even something small. In a big picture, there are many small pictures. Don’t be committed to being right. Be open to seeing situations from different perspectives. Your joy depends on it. Find something good on which you can refocus your thinking and energy. You may still not be happy about the situation, but it may no longer have the power to still your joy.

5. Feel. Feel the joy. Feel the gratitude. Just as anger can be a powerful and palpable emotion, so can joy. Feel it. Let yourself go and be happy. Immerse yourself in it no matter what your situation. When you are grateful for something, feel that completely. Take a few minutes and feel that joy. When you are imagining the life you want, feel what it would feel like to have that, to be that. Feel it. This is where we begin to make it a reality in our lives.

Remember, this isn’t about changing the external as much as it is the internal. Nothing in my life has gotten better, except me. And it might not be a minute too soon.  Little did I know what was right around the corner. I just found out yesterday, less than a month into my “Journey to Joy”, that by the end of next month, I will know if my life will be forever changed…

To be continued.

I will continue to document this as everything unfolds. Life is real. I don’t want to be a person who is giving a magic formula and pretending life will be perfect after that and no bad things will happen to you.  That is not real life.  It’s what we do in the hard times.  That becomes the real story.  That is why I am documenting the rest of the story as it unfolds.  I’m sure there will be moments that I am proud of how I am handling what may be ahead of us but others where I may want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head.  But maybe if I can get through it, someone else can, too.  I read a blog last week and found a great quote on it.  Her story was inspiring and helped me to believe that I might just be able to face my story, too. I didn’t think it would be me next, though.

Excerpt from Kelle Hampton’s blog telling the story of her daughter Nella’s birth:

“By the end of the book, I was inspired. Inspired to write a new story for our life…inspired to face challenges and leave my comfort zone and go through hard things because that is what turns the screenplays of our lives from boring to Oscar-worthy. And, to be honest, in my mind, our uncomfortable challenge was the changes in our life with Brett’s job and having him away from home. Little did I know.”  (Kelle Hampton after reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller)

That book is SO on my list now! (Edited to add…bought the book and loved it.  Click here to read my review of A Million Miles in a Thousand Years)

Little did I know…

I can’t help but notice the similarities in how Kelle and I were both inspired….just as we were about to need it.  I remember a story that a woman in church told me concerning a friend who was handling a life threatening surgery for her husband with such grace and inspiration.  The woman had such an effect on everyone who was there to help her.  Through this story, we realized that God gives us the grace to deal with a situation when we need it.  We can look at someone’s life and say that we could never handle what they are going through.  God gives the grace to handle things as it’s needed.

When I saw this picture for the first time in many years, I held it and studied it as if seeing it for the first time. I could not believe it was me. I felt much like Barbara Streisand’s character in the movie, The Mirror Has Two Faces, when [...]]]> Who is this sassy, fun thing?

When I saw this picture for the first time in many years, I held it and studied it as if seeing it for the first time. I could not believe it was me. I felt much like Barbara Streisand’s character in the movie, The Mirror Has Two Faces, when she saw a picture she had never seen of herself when she was a little girl. I thought, “This is me? I was cute, fun, happy, loved and confident?”

As I looked at this picture, I couldn’t believe this was me.  You see, like Barbara Streisand’s character, I had lost my way, too.  I had forgotten who I was.  It seemed everything I had been doing in my life for so many years was part of a journey to take me right back here – to being who I always was, this fun, happy, loved and confident person, much like what happened with Barbara Streisand’s character.

Quote from The Mirror Has Two Faces:
Mother:  Do you know what I thought when you were a baby?  That you looked just like your dad, and that Claire looked like me.
Rose:  (looking at an old picture of little girl) What’s that? She was so pretty, even then. Look at those eyes. Those lips.
Mother:  That’s not Claire, that’s you.
Rose:  Me? I never saw this picture.
Mother: I found it when I was cleaning up.
Rose:  This was me?  I was pretty?
Mother:  Your father adored you. But you know that.  He never felt that way about Claire. Only you.  I don’t think he ever held a baby until you came.  He never wanted to let you go.
Rose:  I’m glad you found this.
Mother:  So am I.
Rose:  She was very pretty.
Mother:  You were very pretty. Remember that.

So, as I look at this picture of this fun, happy, loved and confident little girl, I am telling myself, “That’s me. Remember that. That’s the real me. The me before the ugliness of the world. The me before I lost my way. If ever I need to find myself, I need not look any further than this picture.”

We all need one of these pictures. It does not matter the age you are in the picture. Just find at least one picture of yourself where you shine, not just shine on the outside, but shine on the inside, too – you at the top of your game, confident and happy. Put these pictures where you can see them every day. And, remember, you do not have to find yourself. You just have to remember who you are.

P.S. Please note the pose. This is why I cannot wear dresses to this day.

As a way to challenge myself to not forget my first love of photography, I want to continue challenging myself to [...]]]> Photography is more of an expression of who we are and where we are at a particular moment. We often take pictures of things that mean something to US . . . things that move us.

As a way to challenge myself to not forget my first love of photography, I want to continue challenging myself to always “feel” my photography and to express myself. Sometimes photography can reach the deep places in my soul that no one else can.

My Photography Project Ideas:

• My Life as Art Photo Journal (or Project: Memories) - Take pictures of the things that hold your memories or sentiment – something that is special to you and your family. It can be something as simple as an old swing set with a story like in our picture above or where your child marked his height on the door frame or a child’s favorite toy or something in your life with a story. This is the start of My Life As Art Photo Journal. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
  • swing, deck, slide, sandbox, basketball goal, ditch, doorway measurements, Christmas stockings
  • day trips, vacations, get togethers
• Theme with Stuffed Animal or Figurine (Flat Stanley or Meekins Type Project)

• Random Acts of Photography (What Moves You – Teaches You – Speaks to You) – I heard recently where it is good to surround ourselves with things that move us. As an an artist, I am definitely one of those people who can walk into a room and “feel” it. It is good to practice our art just for ourselves sometimes…just to feel and feed our souls. This project will do just that…and may make the world a little better place in the progress.  Let us all look for the good. Let us all learn and keep our hearts open to what God is saying to us.Take pictures of someone doing something good or someone who just needs a picture taken of them because of a connection you made with them or a stirring in your heart. It could be someone whose story touched your heart. It might even be someone you didn’t get to speak with but God showed you something special through this person.Do this for one year. Set a goal for how many images you would like to use (one a day, week or month) At the end of the year make a collage of your images and print it out or put it into a book and write a little about what moved you in each image. At the end of the year you will have a special memento of the the things that have touched your heart throughout the year and maybe even a few life lessons.

• Gratitude Photography Journal -What are you thankful for? I’m sure the list is longer than you imagine and after a year of focusing your photography on gratitude, it may be more than you ever imagined.Take pictures of all things that you are thankful for in your life. It can be someone you love, a beautiful blue sky, a fall day, a food, your home, memories of a special time that you hold dear in your heart.Do this for one year. Set a goal for how many images you would like to use (one a day, week or month) At the end of the year make a collage of your images and print it out or put it into a book and write a little about what this image represents to you. At the end of the year you will have a special gratitude photo journal.

• Project 52/365/12 – Take as many images as you can during the week and post your favorite from each time period. Try to choose photographs that mean something to you either artistically or personally. At the end of the year, print in a book or make a slide show.

• Make an Art Book for Your Child - Take pictures of the special artwork your child creates and print them in a hardback book for them. This would make a FABULOUS gift idea for Christmas or birthday. Think how proud they would be to have that.   Who knows what you may start for them!

• Organize and Print My Own Photographs – In the age of digital, this is truly becoming a lost art. And while you are organizing and printing your photographs, please be sure to back them up and keep them in several locations.

• Close-up Art Photography Project – Make art from your photography. It’s a beautiful way to express yourself creatively while making art for your home, Christmas or note cards, or a gift for someone special.

3 Great Things to Do with Your Photography Project:

1. What a great coffee table book this would be!
2. If you are a professional photographer, this would be an awesome idea to do as a slideshow and publish on your website to show clients.
3. Publish as a Calendar – what a great gift this would make at Christmas time!

If you would like to link to this article on your site, please use following code:

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Foreigner Concert Tickets on Sale Now The AARP-sponsored Feels Like the First Time tour with Foreigner is coming [...]]]> My husband turned 50 last year, so I thought I would check out the AARP site since we are beginning to think about his retirement. I clicked on a link to tell about local AARP news only to see this…..

Foreigner Concert Tickets on Sale Now
The AARP-sponsored Feels Like the First Time tour with Foreigner is coming to the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach on July 31. AARP members will be eligible for numerous benefits to the tour, including priority seating at the concert venues.

Foreigner is now a senior citizen band? When did that happen???? LOL!!!!

So, I’m telling this story to Devin, and he says, “WHO?”

I’m like, “What???”

He says, “I don’t even know who that is?”

I guess it happened when I had kids and they became the age I use to be…or should I say the age that I am in my mind. I just knew I would sound like a senior citizen and stopped myself before I told him what a really cool and far out band they used to be. OK, now seriously, when did senior citizens have vocabularies with words like “cool” and “far out”? Those ARE cool words! I can just see this is going to be a vicious circle.

Imagine looking out of your window and seeing this. There are so many beautiful places in the world that would make amazing views out of our windows.

The views in our life can be more than just pretty places. They can be special places. I would love to have an image from my brother’s property where we [...]]]>

Imagine looking out of your window and seeing this. There are so many beautiful places in the world that would make amazing views out of our windows.

The views in our life can be more than just pretty places. They can be special places. I would love to have an image from my brother’s property where we used to fish and crab for years. It is a wonderful memory that we have of him. Or what about the place I grew up. It definitely wouldn’t make it into a fancy magazine, but it is VERY special and full of memories to me. Let us always remember to take pictures of our special places. Maybe even find a window frame and frame the picture behind it as a beautiful work of art for our home and give yourself a room with a view.