I have tried to not blog about his disease in an effort to not let it define me, and that that becomes what my whole life is about.  So in an effort to keep things normal, I limit those posts.  Today, though, has been one of those days where it has hit me from all sides.  I am only one person.  I am trying so hard and failing so miserably.  Five hours of sleep every night is not cutting it.  Incompetent doctors are not cutting it. Living with it all is not cutting it.  Do you think anyone would notice if I ran away from home? That’s not even a luxury that I can afford.  Too many things depend on me.  I know one thing for sure.  And that is I cannot do this on my own.
“Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can’t do this on my own”
About Extraordinary in the Ordinary
I am a professional photographer who lives and works from her heart. My goal is always and in everything to be better today than I was yesterday. I’m an ordinary person dealing with what I like to believe are ordinary issues, but in all the ordinary days, I want to live an extraordinary life.
I am the mom to two grown sons, and there has been nothing I have loved more than being their mom and being home with them. And while you are always a mom, there is a certain part of that time in my life that is over now that they are grown. I miss hearing them play and having them with me all the time and having all their friends over, but it is time to move to the next stage of life or at least trying to figure out what that is.
I am making a list of personal goals, connecting with friends, and still nesting even though the children are grown. I think I will always be a "nester". Home is where the heart is. I love home and love making it a healing place of peace and comfort.
I know in my own life that anytime I’ve tried to go it alone, I’ve done a lot of stupid things and been very unhappy. Having God in my life and leaning on him makes all the difference.
Suzanne
You are right, Suzanne. It doesn’t usually end well when we try to do things in our own strength. He is mightier who lives in us. I’m so thankful today was a better day. Yesterday was definitely one of my “meltdown moments”.