First the squirrel, then a snake, and now it’s bees. Good grief, it’s Wild Kingdom here. I probably really just dated myself with that last remark. It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t all so crazy and acted like they wanted to kill me. Well, not the snake. He and I both froze in fear and neither would make the first move.
Have you ever seen the Ken Davis comedy video where his wife finds a mouse and calls him only to say, “Come home!” Click. Well, it was kind of like that only it was, “Snake.” Click.
Ok, that is not exactly how it happened. Wouldn’t that have been funny, though? My husband knew I went outside to rake, so when I said, “Snake!”, he said, “Huh?” First off, that is always what he says, and second of all if I had hung up at that point, he would have thought I was just calling him to say, “Rake.” Because, well, just because he thinks like that. I don’t know why. I think he thinks it bugs me. That or he just loves to hear the sound of my sweet voice and likes me to repeat everything. We weren’t about to have that discussion right then. One thing about my guy is when he does hear me, he comes running to save me. I will spare you the details of the demise of the snake, but it won’t be coming around these parts no more.
So, I’m thinking the deck will be safer, and I will save the raking for when the guys are all home and in the backyard with me.
You know the old saying, “If you don’t bother it, it won’t bother you?” Well, that is a lie. I was minding my own business reading a book, soaking up some vitamin D, and maybe perhaps bothering the lizard. I was there first.
But I was NOT bothering the bees.
I will go outside and all will be fine, and then a bee will show up and just hover. Like a flying saucer. He’s the recognizance bee. He reports back to the others. I know this because he will fly off and then come back with others. All of them zeroed in on me. I didn’t know they did that.
I protect myself with bug spray, which by the way does NOT kill on contact. And my chair cushion. Oh, and they only do this when it is just me on the deck. There is definitely some sort of conspiracy going on here.
Oh, and the squirrel? We spent $700 to replace wood that she promptly chewed up. We don’t mention her name around here anymore. Some things are just better like that. I still look over my shoulder every now and then when I hear a particularly angry squirrel to be sure she’s not looking my way, but I think she has finally moved on.
This has all been in the past month. I’m beginning to wonder if my energy is bad. I’m not sure what that means exactly, but I think I might have it.
Since I was busy fearing for my life and did not get pictures of the The Others, I will share this cell phone snapshot from today.
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good.
And then I went inside. The end.
