Extraordinary in the Ordinary

I have no idea what to call myself here. I thought about using my real name, but I don’t like the idea that people like my ex-husband’s wife can google me and find me. She has done that before on Facebook. I do have it as an image file, though, like I’m using in the small “about me” on the right sidebar.  That could work. Maybe? Something inside me still says no.

I thought about Shutter Woman, since I like to take pictures.  Besides that, Shutter Girl was taken.  Everywhere.  I like to be somewhat consistent. Besides that, I’m old…er.  I think my days of pulling off girl may be over.  But I’m just not so sure either of those feel right.  Plus I feel like I am copying The Pioneer Woman. Since they both have Woman in them.

So then I thought about using the name Topaz because it’s my birthstone.  But part of me worries that someone will think it is my real name.  That makes me feel like I am misrepresenting myself.  I mean everyone KNOWS my real name is not Shutter Woman.  And then I thought about changing my name to Topaz.  But then my nickname would be Top (pronounced more like Taupe with the long o sound).  I don’t like that.

I actually thought of changing my name a few years ago.  But then I couldn’t decide.  That is a really big decision.  I’m still deciding what color I want to paint the rest of the house, and I started that decision making process about four years ago. Plus the parts of the house that I did paint, I’m not sure if I made the right decision on those colors.

I told my family once that I thought I was going to change my name to Topaz.  They looked at me like I had grown another head.  They don’t get me.

So if you see my name change from time to time, it’s me.  It’s all me. And no I do not have some sort of multiple personality order.  I’m just confused. And indecisive. Ok, maybe that is a personality disorder. I don’t know.  Let me ask Topaz.