This is my first time publicly discussing this. It is very personal, and I really struggled with if I wanted to share this or not, but on the off chance the search engines pick up this entry, I wanted to give back, help and encourage my fellow weight challenged friends.

I have struggled with (not) gaining weight my whole life. I know many of you think this is not a problem, and I want to address this before I get into my story in hopes that you will understand and keep reading, too.

I think unless you have lived through it, it is hard to know what it is like to walk in the shoes of an underweight person.

• People do not think twice about telling you that you are skinny (in the tone that makes you sound like you are disgusting and should be in a freak show).  I would never walk up to someone and tell them how fat they are, but people, even strangers, think that the subject of an underweight person’s weight is public domain.
• It is a lot harder to find resources to get help.  Everything is geared toward people needing to lose weight.  For all practical purposes, we have to figure this out on our own.
• Medical doctors are clueless to help, and in my experience, really do not care. It is almost as if they really do not see it as a problem, which in many situations, defies all logic to me.
• Clothes shopping is extremely hard.  Most adult women really do not want to shop in the little girls department and be dressed like your child, not to mention the embarrassment of shopping in the children’s department. As a 45 year old married woman with two grown children, I really do not want to be sporting the latest Hannah Montana or Olsen twin fashions either.  Then there are vanity sizes which are designed to help the majority of people feel better about themselves, but are hurting people who while they are small have not lost weight but have now lost a few clothing sizes.  No one wants to be a size 0. I honestly wish the clothing industry would do away with the current system, which in my opinion is no system at all since it varies from designer to designer, but would instead go by actual measurements.  It is what it is.  Either your waist is 29 inches or it is 49 inches. That is standardized sizing and is as it should be.  If not, let’s rename all of our stores to either “the make all the skinny women feel good about themselves store” or “the make all the fat women feel good about themselves store” .  Probably wouldn’t catch on, huh?  Well, neither should the current sizing concept.  Ever notice men do not have this sizing craziness – even their dress shirts are very specific measurements for the neck and and arms? It is what it is.

My journey…..

I have been thin my whole life.  I am 5’2. My lowest point was 88 lbs even though I had two children.  After going through a very difficult divorce, I was at my lowest emotionally and weight wise.  While many people eat when they are upset, underweight people eat less.  I was always underweight, but this was my lowest, and there I stayed for 10 years.  The horrible comments made by people only made me eat less.  The more I tried, the harder it was.

I eat very few sweet foods. I generally do not like fatty foods nor do they like me.  I love things like raw vegetables.  It is really difficult, though, to gain weight off  bowls of raw spinach.  On the upside, it is possible to gain weight without having to drink those  shakes with those gross powders. (thumbs up)

I reached a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I wanted to do whatever it took…within reason…to gain weight.  A few years prior to this I had used the flylady website for help with housecleaning.  A big part of her theory is to set a timer and do something for a few minutes and that it all comes down to baby steps.  So I decided that I would baby step my way to gaining weight. Five, ten, or twenty pounds was overwhelming, but one quarter of a pound was manageable…with a plan.

My plan…

I figured out how many calories I needed to make a pound.  It was 3500, so if I ate an ADDITIONAL 500 calories a day to what I was currently doing, which was probably VERY low, I could add weight….about a pound a week.

I watched shows on people wanting to lose weight and learned things that I could reverse and use to my advantage.

• Eat at least three meals a day. Never skip a meal even if it is a small meal.  Never skip breakfast.  Your body will begin to use anything that may be stored that you need, so feed it in the morning even if it is just a little.
• Do not snack between meals.  This would ruin my appetite for the next meal.
• Snack after lunch and dinner or anytime it will not spoil a meal.
• Find one high calorie thing that I could live with eating. I used the high-calorie Ben and Jerry’s ice cream because I did not have to eat much.  The only problem with them is that they change their flavors quite often.  Each thing I found that I liked, they discontinued.  I changed to making the little homemade mini pecan pies.  Now, I use honey roasted peanuts.
• Add free calories.  These are calories where you really do not have to eat anything extra.  You just have to add something calorie wise to what you are already eating. (i.e., nuts, butter, olive oil, salad dressing, dips, etc.)
• Do a search for high calorie food and find things that you like and add these to your list for meal and snack ideas.
• Buy a good digital scale that uses tenths. Be sure to weigh yourself about the same time each day wearing something similar or not wearing anything at all.
• Make yourself a chart.  Don’t obsess over it, but when you see yourself slowly making progress, it will encourage you even more.
• Eat your dessert/snack right after your meal.  If you wait, you will get the full filling and you want to finish your dessert before that hits.
• Visit buffets of food you love when you can.  That is usually an easy way to throw in some extra calories for the week. That being said, I hardly ever go to buffets anymore.  Somewhere along the line I realized that many people with which I was sharing serving spoons, did not wash their hands and did not have the best hygiene habits.
• Setup a reward system for yourself.  Each week that I met my goal, I set money aside to go clothes shopping.  Nice incentive, huh? I really didn’t want to buy clothes while I was doing this because they would not fit after a while, but I knew there was going to be some serious clothes shopping when I was finished. And if money is an issue, like it was for us, Goodwill, department store sales, and second hand stores are great options.
• Know that as with anything, this is a lifestyle change.  Change your habits and you change your results.

I tend to like lighter, low calorie foods, so here are some examples of how I “souped” them up with additional calories:

Salads

I like salads.  I know…raw veggies again.  So I learned to “soup” them up.  I added nuts, boiled eggs, extra salad dressing (did not care for the extra, but learned to live with it), croutons or even buttered toast on the side. We use whole grain bread.  Did you know there are over 100 calories in each slice and that is not even counting the butter, jelly or whatever you add to it? If you can handle a little more, a bowl of soup goes well with this, too, and is not too filling.

Soups

When eating soup, add extra butter or olive oil (better for you) for extra calories. And always have bread with something on it with the soup.

Snacks

Yogurt is a great food that makes an easy breakfast or a snack.  To add calories to it, add nuts or breakfast cereal.  It gives it a nice crunch and added flavor and calories.

Nuts are good for you, high in protein and calories and usually easily eaten by most people (be sure you do not have nut allergies first).  These are a win-win food for us hard gainers. They can also be bought quite cheaply.  We use the great value brand party size honey roasted peanuts at Wal-mart.  I can easily add an additional 500 calories a day with peanuts alone.

Chips with dips – if you are going to eat the chips, you might as well add the free calories to it.

My personal weight gain numbers: (height: 5’2)

Once you do this once, even if you lose the weight, it will not be as hard to gain it back again. I think the main reason for this is that you know how now, plus you do not have the mental block in your head that you can’t do it.

I am on my third yo-yo experience with this.  The second time I lost due to getting really sick but was able to gain back weight again fairly quickly.  The last time I just got busy and lazy and went from 106 down to 92.6.  Yikes.  I practically had to start over, but within just a about 2-3 months, I am back up to 100 lbs and still climbing.

My weight gain has gone something like this over the years.

My lowest:  88lbs

After about 6-8 months of concentrated effort following the plan above: 106 lbs (gain of 18 lbs), the most I had ever weighed not being pregnant.

After being sick: 95 lbs

After about 2-3 months of following the plan: 106 lbs (gain of 11 lbs)

After getting busy and being off the plan: 92.6 lbs

After following the plan for 2 months: 100 lbs (gain of 7.4 lbs) and still climbing back up again. I’m not sure where I plan on stopping.  According to the weight calculator at shape.com my ideal weight range is between 108 and 121 pounds. So, WOOHOO for me…only 8 more pounds to go to hit the first goal.  But I will probably want to fall somewhere in the middle of that.

Caremark says: Your ideal weight is between 101.4 and 136.5 pounds.

My BMI is 18.3.  If I add one more pound, it will be 18.5 and fall within the normal range.

As you can see, once you get over the initial hump and do it the first time, you can do it again if you lose it, and it is a little easier.

Now, if anyone would like to share some exercises so that it all does not go to the stomach, I am all ears.

Final thoughts…

Now, if you have gotten this far and are someone who does not struggle with this, please remember to be kind to those who are.  No one’s weight should be public discussion.  Whether you are overweight or underweight, it tends to only make things worse…and it’s rude.

If you are overweight and have read this, it is so awesome you took the time to understand what it is like for those of us who are underweight, and believe it or not, we DO understand your struggle, while it is different from ours, it is still a weight struggle.  We know what it is like to be so unhappy with our size and want so desperately to change it.

To those who are in this struggle, do not lose hope.  This IS possible.  You CAN gain weight.  Just get a plan and take baby steps. I am doing it, and so can YOU!

Helpful Resources:

BMI calculator

Ideal Weight Chart

Weight Updates:

August 8, 2009:  102.8

Right after I wrote this article in April, my mom took a turn for the worse and then died several months later.  So I actually lost again and had to catch back up.  That is why it took me so long to go from 100 to 102.8.  The calculator above says that I have less than 8 pounds to go to be an ideal weight for my height and frame.   I am really hoping to make the first goal weight of 110 by the end of the year. The plan is to eventually end up at 115 or 120.

February 8, 2010 106.4

Slowly but surely.  At least I keep moving in the right direction.

Helpful Resources:

The Pioneer Woman – I love Ree’s blog!  I love everything about it! I hope she doesn’t mind my including her site as a resource for weight gain because she has some of the yummiest looking recipes, with detailed step-by-step instructions, that look to be a little on the high-calorie side.  She’s admitted it many times herself.